UFO

When I was coming out in Melbourne, I told the
man on the gayline counselling service that I was
thinking of burning my Salvation Army uniform.
The man on the gayline was known as Mr W.
He masturbated on the phone when I said uniform.
At 18 years of age, I was too old for W, but he loved
uniforms. When he said that he was a paedophile,
I asked him how big is shoe collection was.
When the Victorian vice squad raided Mr W for his
shoe collection, someone told me not to have sex with
Sydneysiders or Americans
That way, you won't catch AIDS.
The underground rail system in Melbourne, we were
told, was the most sophisticated in the world.
A Melbourne scientist said that AIDS came out of a
UFO site.
We believed every word that the Melbourne Age told
us.